And because of this, from a very young age, I struggled silently with a desire to not exist. I would go through episodes where I did not want to live, wanting to escape this body and mind. As I got older and entered a serious relationship, I realised this wasn't normal and that I had to try to change. But nothing I tried changed me. Not therapy, not any drug, not yoga or movement, or conscious mindfulness. As I learned through my studies later, our bodies "keep score" of every memory and emotion from even the time of being in our mother's womb, and that it is not through the conscious mind we change, but through the subconscious.

At 28 years old in 2019, by divine design, I was taken to a Dr Joe Dispenza meditation retreat after never having properly meditated before, not in a traditional or consistent way. It was at this event that something began to awaken in me. In each meditation, I felt a deep sense of peace and connection that I had never felt before. I learned about our past and how it affects us neurologically and chemically. I realised why I was the way I was and that there was something more to life than what I had imagined. After this week, I made the conscious choice to go home and commit to my practice. I became disciplined in meditating every morning and night, sometimes in between work, sometimes missing social events just so I could connect with this energy. I studied the mind-body connection and continued my practice, even when I was uncomfortable with all I was tapping back into.

Six months later, I was drawn to attend another week-long retreat. It was at this event, in a profound moment of surrender and compassion, that I prayed for the healing of a man I had seen earlier that day: my intention and attention were off me, and I just wanted him to feel whole. In that moment, my heart surged with an energy so powerful and overflowing with unconditional love that I felt as though I had transcended my physical being.

I still do not have the words to describe this experience, other than that in every way I was reborn. I was experiencing a tremendous amount of energy and love move through me, it was so big, bigger then I had ever felt, and so powerful that my body was moving itself to let the energy through me. I was experiencing multiple moments at the same time, journeying through and seeing my past with a new perspective—one of forgiveness and understanding, with deep compassion for everyone who had hurt me unconsciously and I felt nothing but love for them. I was traveling through the galaxies, experiencing different lives, and having visions that changed me in profound ways instantaneously. I felt reborn. I felt loved. I felt I was everywhere and everything. I was the stars, the ocean, I was one with all of creation. When I came to and the meditation was over, I could not open my eyes or move. It took me some time to physically move, and I was left speechless, literally unable to speak, talk, or walk without assistance for hours. This experience, this energy, this magnitude of love pulsating through every molecule of my being, lasted for weeks. All I knew for certain was that I was not the same Tanya who had laid down at the end of that meditation. My heart healed, and so did my body. I had stage 4 Endometriosis by this stage and had undergone two extensive surgeries, and after that moment, all my pain, lesions, and complications disappeared. But it was never about the physical change for me; it was about what happened to my heart. It was awakened, it was liberated, it was alive again. I felt like I had died and been reborn into a different version of me, one who saw her past as a blessing for leading her to this experience, one who saw the beauty in everything and felt God in everything.

We all have stories; we all come from different life experiences that shape us, some shaping us in positive ways that serve us in life, some leaving marks on our hearts and bodies as negative experiences on micro and macro levels that, if left ignored, become ways of being that leave us programmed and stuck in repeating cycles. Our bodies store information and experiences in every cell, and so as we forget consciously, our subconscious minds and bodies remember. Living with anxiety and depression, leading lives that feel unfulfilled and disconnected, creating incoherent energy in the body that can lead to not only disease but also general dis-ease in life, becomes a new normal for many.

As I went on the journey of integrating back into life, a burning curiosity arose within me to understand the profound transformation I had experienced. How did I go from one way of feeling and living for 20+ years of my life to changing in one moment? This experience was a catalyst for me to immerse myself in study, training, and practice with teachers and healers from across the globe. My studies took me deep into the realms of Ancient Teachings, drawing from the wisdom of Yogi and Shamanic lineages. At the same time, I delved deeper into the scientific realms of Energy, Neuroscience, and Biology, unraveling the fascinating power and potential of healing that resides within our very own bodies.

And so I began to share what I learned and experienced, and Riise was born for each individual to have their own experience of connection and wholeness within themselves. Facilitating the creation of coherence within the energetic field of the body through different modalities, I began to witness profound changes in people I shared the sessions with. Through these somatic processes and technologies, the analytical mind takes a back seat, creating the space for the body to relax and engage in its natural process of renewal and regeneration. Through purposeful unraveling, liberating, and recalibration of our energetic systems, a profound reawakening to the innate wisdom of the heart and body begins to awaken. We remember the truth of What we are, and why we are here and that God, Love, The Divine lives within us and is not external to us. In this sacred dance of transformation, love emerges as the guiding force, permeating every choice we make and imbuing every facet of our existence. It becomes the essence that breathes life into our journey, illuminating the path for alignment, harmony, authenticity, and soulful fulfillment.

And now, five years later, I am doing what I know I was born to do. Every moment, every heartache, every experience led me right here to you.

My prayer is for you to remember the truth - That you are already there. You are already it. You are already whole.

I am just here to help you remember